Have you ever joined a conversation only to recognize that half of the vocabulary isn’t in your everyday language? Every field seems to have jargon – the acronyms or words that are specific to that industry or environment. It can be humourous – in fact, most good comedy plays in this realm – and it can be detrimental if we are not bold enough to ask or sleuth out the meaning behind the meaning.
In coaching, the term “designing the alliance” has the same feel; jargon at it’s best. And, I am going to let you in on the scoop – it is just a cliché was to say, “Let’s figure out how we will work together”. Any coach worth working with will have this kind of question built into every session – it’s one of the best practices for staying present with each other and setting a safety net for the personal work you are engaging in. Expect it. Consider how you want to be in relationship and be up-front about it.
Good coaches will ask questions like:
- How do you like to be held accountable; how do you like to be recognized or challenged?
- What kind of encouragement do you need?
- How will I know when you need time and space?
The questions may be phrased differently, but the intent is the same – drop the jargon and be real; tell it like it is. Don’t bank on anyone to read your mind or understand cryptic words: go ahead and spell it out. When we purposely make our needs and wishes clear we set ourselves up for some amazing interactions.
Think on it. What is it that you need to build a strong, authentic relationship? Be curious about it and then ask for it. See what happens; I bet you will be surprised!